two years down, a lifetime to go...

very few times in my life have been as emotionally, spiritually, and physically devastating to me as the last month has been. i won't go into detail, but i will tell you that hell week was nothing compared to this past month, and at the time i was going through hell week, i couldn't imagine anything worse.

even though i've chosen every day for the past two years not to feed my addiction to nicotine and i thought that strong cravings were a thing of the dim and distant past, this month has brought me some of the strongest cravings i can remember; it's as if the demon was just laying in wait for some major turmoil to come into my life so he could pull out all the stops to get me to feed him again.

but i haven't, and i won't. because i know that smoking won't make anything about this situation better; it'll only make me feel worse than i already do.

don't let the demon use stress or emotional upheaval to entice you back by telling you that a cigarette would really help you handle this situation. it's a lie; it won't. don't be fooled by the demon's claims that you can always go back to being quit after this situation clears up and life calms down a little. it's a lie; it won't.

i lost a three-year quit to those two lies once upon a time - and not only did that first cigarette not help me handle the situation, within a couple of days of smoking "just this one", i was back to a pack a day, and my daily consumption just continued to climb from there. as for the second lie, it took nearly twenty years before i got back to being quit again (and life never really "calmed down" all that much, either).

there's only one way to maintain a quit: don't smoke. no matter what.

life has its ebbs and flows; if you're down now, you'll be up later. that's life. live it, or live with it; you have no other choice. don't throw away your freedom, your health, and possibly your life because of the vagaries of life. you're worth more than that.

choose life.

kevin - grateful to be celebrating two years of freedom today!

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